NO 5: Figs Burn, Prunes Jam
'God I love this so much! Please never stop!'
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
Oops, I used the wrong title. It's not even Monday.
Top Story: 'I RAN OUT OF WEEKS!' DOOBUS GOOBUS FRIDAY NIGHT HUNKIN ON TEMPORARY HIATUS
The Friday Night Hunkin' creator @Doobus-Goobus has stated yesterday that he won't be continuing the Friday Night Funkin' parody due to already being up to date. "I'm already up to date with FNH. I ran out of weeks.", the 20-something year old animator said to Tankman Triweekly.
Originally scheduled for July 21st, Week 7 of Hunkin' was leaked yesterday and it was exactly what people expected, the hunky Boyfriend going up against the Tankman, just like in the original game.
Fans have speculated if Doobus will make Hunkin' spinoffs featuring popular FNF mods such as Whitty or Tricky the Clown, but he has yet to comment on them. He has however decided to focus on making miscellaneous videos featuring his signature broccoli avatar, as well as spending more time with his son Gilgamesh.
THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO WINNING FIGBURN'S JULY GAME JAM
The theme for @Figburn's game jam has just been announced today, which means if you want to win, it's best you follow this advice NOW.
You will need:
- 10 monkeys
- 10 computers, each with game development software installed.
- 10 desks
Instructions:
Step 1: Set up an office with all your computers and desks
Step 2: Place the monkeys on each desk.
Step 3: Have the monkeys hit keys on their computers
With nine days until the end of the jam, you will have a game that plays just as good as whatever @ZabuJard does in half a day.
For better results, use more monkeys.
RED BALL SAVED FROM BANKRUPTCY
Paid placement
The star of many Jazzuo games went through some hard times. He hasn't appeared in a video game in years, unemployed long before the COVID-19 pandemic. Then the unemployment cheques he was relying on stopped coming in. It also didn't help that he loved playing at casinos. Eventually, he was unable to pay rent and was about to live on the streets homeless. That was, until a job offer came in from @8BitAnt of all people. He had learned all about Red Ball and his legacy and wanted him to star in a fan-game inspired by the ones from his heyday.
That game was.... Money Man, based off a true story (or that's what the media says)
When interviewed about his resurrected success, Red Ball had this to say:
"It was a miracle! One moment I'm a poor bum who gambled away all my money, and then I'm starring in my first big major role since the good ol' days where you don't have to worry about copyright infringement online. Thank you Mr. Ant"
Money Man was played 15,000 times, won the Daily Feature, and got frontpaged as of July 16th 2021.
@somefatfuck5. Please be responsible and take care of your accounts. Always remember the email and password attached to your account or it will get lost.
@beenibroh. Cancelled so many mega-projects, the only thing he can't cancel is anyone on Twitter.
If the Tank Tribune can feature my audio, I see no reason why Tankman Triweekly can't either.
(hint: It's the first song on the playlist, besides the theme song)
Tankman Triweekly is owned by @Beggenrun
Figburn
those instructions are accurate, though i recommend 20 monkeys.