Anonymous-Frog's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Dark Magic Dance]

Two words: Art Portal.

As much as I appreciate the animation quality in this 10 second loop, which is great, this is still a 10 second loop, which I’m v0ting accordingly. “Short form content” or whatever you want to call it, is on Newgrounds, an easily exploitable format that takes away from the hard working filmmakers and animators on the Movie Portal and is generally considered low-effort by the community.

I would recommend posting this stuff on the Art Portal, with a YouTube embedded version with sound.

horizon-hugger responds:

Well then what's the point of the "This is a loop" functionality when you upload a movie? I don't see why would they have that function if short loops weren't welcome here. Youtube doesn't have auto-looping by default anyways and it's likely few viewers would click the link.

[Mario shoves a jar up his ass]

The good ol' fashioned shitpost does give a lot of laughs, but if that's all you do, you'll never go anywhere in life.

The most I ever got was 3.2 stars and I never thought once that this would be front-page worthy. Don't let the score, and the reviews go to your head and assume this is the peak of all animation or some shit, but do take the time to properly improve your work, whether it's to use better colours, draw more backgrounds, learn anatomy, and otherwise try to make a "good" animation, MS Paint or otherwise.

Click that Zzz emote if you agree with me, because I'm getting bored of this too.

onixm responds:

Woah, I like the comment you made here, I’m going to listen to you and take your advice

[celine's crazy christmas adventure]

A literal NUKE is not strong enough to destroy "the entire world", much less a bundle of three measly sticks of dynamite. Worst case, Celine's house caves in, but aside from that, still well-made.

Suggestion for joke: The bomb still explodes even after she puts the fuse out, somewhere around 0:55, or anything else to subvert that initial fuse pinch.

[BatMan And SuperMan]

No you aren't shadowbanned.

Full-body, frame by frame, despite its severe roughness compared to what you're capable of, is always welcome on Newgrounds. I can at least say it's better than those 5 shitposts you submitted prior, which would've been the actual cause of your shadowban if you actually had one.

Meanwhile, I'm quite fond of the voices, which sounds like something out of a grainy old 60s TV recording. You should consider voiceover work.

[General BBS Sketch Collab Shitpost 2022]

== Kinda sketchy.. ==
Score: N/A | Non-Review

I get it, it's a shitpost. Thank god it's only once a year like Clock Day. Having participated once in 2021 and three times here, I'm glad to see this parody become just as recurring as the actual Sketch Collab.

GOOD POINTS:
- A nice healthy mix between utter garbage shitposts, awesome shitposts, decent quality mid-posts, PNG's, and triple-posts.
- The "No hair allowed" sketch from @TheShokBlok returns
- Has @Stepford in one of the sketches, or is that really them?
- Funny song. "Vagina" and "Hurts" can fit with pretty much any of the sketches.
- No 321 sketches.

SOME THINGS TO IMPROVE:
- Some timestamps would be nice.

~frog

Anonymous-Frog responds:

WE NEED TO PROtECTT Tje BREEFCASE!!

[BOXCAR CITY RUSH KICKSTARTER TRAILER]

Nobody wins in this city... Oops, wrong quote. Still, looking to be very great.

[The Antoons Gift]

Nice of you to send him a gift. Really funny man. But for future reference, a thick default brush (ie. round ends) don't look good, especially when trying to draw fine details thinner than the lines themselves.

Examples: the fingers, the skull on the bomb, the horns, etc.

lilPufferz responds:

Thanks for the tip ^^

[Big Tiddie Goth Girlfriends on the Moon #2!]

The art's good, but this is about on par with a Sinitron flash from 2007.

[Brawl Funnies [Dick 1]]

Brawl Funnies is the sequel to the now-removed (at the time of this review) Metal Gear Funnies collab, also created by members of the TheBackAlleys forum, including Rtil (owner of TBA), Blordow, the now-deleted Bug (host of MGF), and CoolDrMoney (host of BF).

While MGF parodied and was released at the same time as MGS: Flash Collab DISC 01, Brawl Funnies parodies Rina-chan's "One More Brawl Taunts", also a collab.

Presumably due to its large size, Brawl Funnies was split into two parts labelled "dicks", much like the MGS Flash Collab that MGF parodied with just one part.
This "dick" ends with a cool looking head with a scorpion tail thinking about Kirby with a large weiner.

Onto the review:

IN GENERAL:
All the parts are played in sequential order, with hidden left and right arrows for easy navigation.

The overall theme is not always Super Smash Bros. Brawl, it also applies to Kirbopher and Rina-chan, creators of the Brawl Taunts trilogy and just unfunny video game "parodies" in general. It may also be made to troll fans of said parodies and creators.
If done right, the result can be hilarious.

CREDITS:
Clicking "WHAT?" at the menu sends you to a "player select" screen, with each contributor represented as a cool-looking caricature portrait drawn by CoolDrMoney, which may be based on real photos of them.
as seen in the "Brawl Funnies Family"
https://www.newgrounds.com/art/view/cooldrmoney/the-brawl-funnies-family

I like that Kirbopher has a nose for a head and F00D's a superhero. These may be in-jokes refencing their other stuff.

Some other things to note:
- Armon/HLG/dullsworth, isn't in the menu (nor did he directly contribute)
- Nonezop and Squeef lack portraits and instead use a placeholder
- Kirbopher and Rina-chan, the collab's main subjects, obviously had no involvement
- Wonchop and Zekey also are likely not directly involved.
- Wonchop and CoolDr$ aren't drawn by CoolDr$

Aside from this screen, and a set of credits at the end of [Dick 2], not all individual parts are properly credited, making it harder to figure out who made what. I'll do my best to properly credit everyone.

1.
BRAWL TAUNTS SMOOTHIE (Cambo, according to artstyle)

Making Brawl Taunts must be just as easy as making a smoothie. The guy didn't even put any "originality" in the blender, the "dash" was nonexistent. Very simple. I like it.

2.
4CHAN (Lenko, credit at end)
Gay jokes and Dragon Ball puns galore.

3.
FUNNY THINGS ABOUT SSBB THAT THE CHARACTERS NEVER SAY IN GAME UNTIL NOW (CoolDrMoney, credit at start)
Of course Nintendo is not gonna make the characters in Super Smash Bros Brawl say homophobic slurs, as explained by Mario and Luigi

4.
METAPHOR128 (Ukinojoe, I recognise that style)
The pseudonymous creator of "Bowja in his Cashle" (early 2009) acts as an allegorical stand-in for Kirbopher who creates 3 cartoons that represent the Brawl Taunts trilogy.
Read the author comments of said trilogy to understand the context.

5.
MCNEWGROUNDS (Unknown, possibly Bug or CoolDrMoney)
Not even in the garbage is there anything new. Weird choice of colours, and dialogue is done with text without animating the characters

6.
OVERUSED LAME JOKES (Blordow, credited on truck license plate)
Turns out video game parodies are so unoriginal there's a dedicated service designed to get rid of them. Unfortunately they're so annoying even they cannot handle it.
Good concept, and at least funnier than what they were spoofing.

7.
THE ONE AND ONLY MARIO (Psi43, according to management)
It's crap, and even the organisers want you to skip this one. It reuses the mushroom joke in Rtil's MGF part told by Snake's Pokemon thingy, the two hacks on stage have cutout photos for faces, and they force Mario to tell the joke.

8.
MEET N FUCK BRAWL (Unknown)
Meet n Fuck was, throughout the 2000s a very popular series of adult dating sims. Combine that with the only slightly less popular Smash Bros parody flashes and you get a perverted Olimar fucking a Yoshi.
It's safe to skip halfway through watching. You're not missing anything seeing them fuck for two seconds, since RTIL's part is right after this one.

9.
RINA CHAN AND THE BRAWL BOYZ (Rtil, no one else here animates that well)
Set to a deadmau5 song, Rina-Chan whores herself out to Captain Falcon. This is probably the reason why a lot of low scoring reviews have at least 2 stars, that's the only redeeming thing (to them) about this entire collab.

10.
PREDATOR OF THE RACETRACK (Nonezop?)
If you don't get this one, there's a recurring joke in Metal Gear Funnies where a character calls Snake and says "Hey Snake, I'm {xx] I'm the predator of snakes"
Snake then says that's the joke and shows images of said predator and the Wikipedia article followed by airhorns.
The extended zoom-in on the Captain Falcon PNG goes on for way too long. I say skip.

11.
THE GREATEST CARTOON EVER CREATED IN THE HISTORY OF CARTOONS (possibly Billy/DairyDog, IDK for sure)
Various SSBB characters make fun of RTIL for being gay. They're all crudely drawn using basic shape tools and wobbly arms with circle hands.

12.
BALLOON (Cambo, according to artstyle)
Kirbopher throws away his self respect to gain popularity, represented as a guy in a hot air balloon. Political comic in animated form. The colours bleeding out the outlines may be a stylistic choice.

13.
BRAWL IN THE FAMILY (Unknown, maybe Bug or CoolDrMoney, he did use a tablet)
This is meant to be an "All in the Family" parody with Brawl characters. There's also a webcomic of the same name with a similar premise, but I don't think this short is based on that.

The visuals are horrible. The author says they were drawn with his dick to "imitate Kirbopher's artistic style". That's the joke right there, not the short itself.
If an actual dick was used, it'd still be impressive nonetheless.

[1771: Adolf Frederick]

According to Wikipedia:
Adolf Frederick died suddenly in Stockholm on 12 February 1771 with symptoms resembling either heart failure or poisoning. Popular stories about his death having resulted from a large meal (consisting of lobster, caviar, sauerkraut, kippers and champagne as well as 14 helpings of his favourite dessert hetvägg of semla pastries and hot milk) are considered propagandist by modern writers.

Very historically accurate if I say so myself.